Emotions at Work

I regularly pick up a copy of Stylist on my way home from work to read on the train journey home, it's a free magazine handed out at stations to commuters.  It's from the same people that produce Shortlist, and I now look forward to Wednesday journeys home when I can read the latest edition.  In a recent issue there was an article entitled 'Is Your Boss A Phsycho?" which caught my attention, not because I think my boss is a phsycho but because it raised a few interesting points. The article pointed out that being pshycopathic doesn't necessarily make you a serial killer, rather it is someone with a distinct cluster of personality traits, including narcissism, persuasiveness and lack of conscience and is often found in successful business figures, particularly CEOs.  I took the questionnaire and was glad that I scored pretty low on the psychopathic spectrum and it got me thinking about the other end of the scale too.  I can see how traits like charisma, fearlessness and focus is useful for those in positions with tough decisions to make, but what about the other end of the spectrum? Does scoring low on phychopathic traits mean you can't be successful in the ruthless world of business? I know I'm a pretty empathetic individual, I feel other's pain easily and I'm always very considered when it comes to decisions, weighing up situations from different angles and really thinking things through before I do anything.

Recent events at work where things have happened to colleagues that affect both their personal and professional lives has really brought the subject of emotions at work into focus for me.  Emotions are what define us, yet sometimes it is as if we detach our emotions before going to work.  Emotions can be seen as unprofessional and the focus is often on what can be measured, but what lies at the heart of most companies are the people who work for the company and the customers they serve.  We want customers to trust us, we want to show them that we care and value them, yet emotions are often ignored in business because it is difficult to quantify. Happy customers are more likely to remain loyal and recommend services, but equally happy employees are more engaged, meaning they voluntarily give the company and their customers their commitment.  Empathy is important as good customer service is often built on building understanding and trust, and maintaining this even when things go wrong.  Previous to being an assistant I worked in customer relations resolving complaints.  I have to admit this was not my favourite job and it often pushed me out of my comfort zone, but I learned a lot from it and seemed to do it pretty well, and looking back now I realise it was probably because I have a lot of empathy.  While I sometimes doubted myself, my decisions were always carefully considered and I remember hearing at the time that often customer satisfaction is higher after a complaint as long as it was handled well.

In his 1995 book, 'Emotional Intelligence' Daniel Goleman developed the argument that that non-cognitive skills like empathy and interpersonal skills can matter as much as IQ, advocating the importance of emotions in business.  Although difficult to quantify, it is important that there are  those who look at the bottom line and make tough decisions, but it's equally important that this is balanced with those who look at things from a different perspective.  Particularly in customer driven businesses where customer experience is the focus, emotions are even more important.

Emotions affect us in every area of our lives; both personally and professionally.  It's possible to find a smiley face at work too.

References:
Is Your Boss A Psycho? Stylist, Sept 4 2013
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Bantam Books 1995

Letting Go

Continuing with my smiley faces theme, recently my family had a get together over the weekend.  This was a rare opportunity to see all of my family in one place as we are now based in different locations.  In my first post I talked about releasing control on a weekend trip and learned the benefits of letting go.  As I watched my nieces and nephews playing I realised that I could learn a few things from them too.  As babies when they were learning to walk, if they fell down they just got back up and tried again until they were successful, they didn't feel disappointed with themselves because they didn't get it right the first time.  As older kids now they live in the present moment, they don't hold on to past mistakes or worry about the future.  If they fall and hurt themselves, they cry, work through the pain and five minutes later it's as if it had never happened.  They forgive easily and don't hold grudges. They release their emotions as and when they arrive. I've noticed that as adults this seems to change, we replay things in our minds, wondering if we should have done things differently. Attempts become mistakes and self judgement kicks in.

During the family weekend we took the kids to the park and my youngest niece made a sand angel, on which she then drew... a smiley face!  Was this coincidence or the world trying to tell me something?  Am I over thinking this?  Maybe, and maybe that's another lesson to learn.  Sometimes things don't go as we planned and sometimes we make mistakes, but the trick is to look at it differently, as an 'attempt' we learn from then let it go instead of carrying it around for fear of making the same mistake again.  As I was driving the other day the song 'Wake Me Up' by Avicii came on the radio and for the first time I listened to the lyrics "I tried carrying the weight of the world, but I only have two hands" and it made me think.  Apparently Thomas Edison invented the light bulb on his 1000th attempt and was quoted as saying "I have not failed 1000 times, I have successfully found 1000 ways that will not work."

As if by some other coincidence, I have a day to view calendar on my desk at work, and each day has a quote.  Last week one of the quotes was "some mistakes are too much fun to only make once."  It is important to learn from them, but it's just as important, if not more, to then let it go.

The sand angel smiley face

Inspiration for this post came from a few articles I have read on the Tiny Buddha website:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/use-self-acceptance-to-learn-from-the-past-and-let-it-go/
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/be-more-childlike-life-can-be-beautiful/

The Venice of the North

I have to admit my initial impression of Stockholm was that it's expensive - it certainly has that reputation, but as it turns out, it doesn't need to be.  One thing I know how to do is plan, so a bit of research later I found myself at the airport boarding a short and inexpensive flight to Sweden's capital, sometimes referred to as 'the Venice of the North'.  On arrival, it wasn't difficult to see why.  The city consists of easily navigable islands separated by sparkling waterways which account for a third of the city's total surface area.

I decided for this trip I would step out of my comfort zone and not plan an itinerary - just go with the flow and see what happens.  This is completely against my nature, I'm a keen traveller and my previous trips have been planned down to every. last . detail.  This is usually after meticulous research, checking various top attraction lists and guide books, determined to tick them all off the list.  But this time was different.  I arrived in Stockholm without a plan and although I did feel an initial sense of panic (I hadn't even pre-booked the bus from the airport to the city!) it all turned out for the best. After buying tickets for the bus at the airport and were soon in the city, checking in to our impeccably clean and quiet hostel.  I have to admit at this point I did have a pre printed map of the location of the hostel - baby steps!  It was late on a Friday when we arrived and my first impressions were that it was peaceful and quiet, not much like it is at the same time back home on a weekend evening. 

old town

The next morning we headed to the tourist information centre to decide what to do.  A triathlon was on at the time affecting the sightseeing bus route so we opt for a boat tour instead, taking in the sights of the beautiful waterways that connect the city.  Next we head over to old town to check out the old alleyways and cobbled streets. We don't pay attention to the map and just wander and find a lovely cafe where we stop for a drink and some people watching. The old town is beautiful, if a little busy with tourists but not so much if you wander off the beaten track.  We decide to go back later for some Swedish meatballs for dinner (when in Sweden!) and find a cute little place with photos on the menu which helps us with our choice. 

sunset view over the city

As the sun starts to set we head up to Monteliusvagen - a short walk along the tops of the cliffs of Sodermalm.  It's a bit of a walk to get there but we are rewarded with a fantastic view of the old town and city hall during a stunning red and pink sunset which seemed to last for ages.  As night fell, we walked down past the water which looked like glass in the moonlight, reflecting the beautiful old buildings lit up.

love locks on the bridge

The next day we spend some time at the park, sitting in glorious warm sunshine at the edge of the water, watching with fascination as windsurfers persevered on their boards, not moving at all due to the lack of wind!  We then walk across the adjacent Western Bridge which connects the North and South City.  At the middle of the bridge we find love locks - padlocks affixed to the bridge by couples to symbolise their everlasting love.  It was a fantastic view from there of the entire city - and not one included in any of the 'must do' lists for visitors to the city.  On our way back we walk through the park again and I come across a few smiley faces - one drawn on the ground, one on a climbing wall and one a shop sign and stop to take photos of them.

 

changing if the guard at the Royal Palace

Later we walk back to the old town again to watch the changing of the guard at the Royal Palace then pick up some souvenirs and everything we find is expensive, even a small bottle of water cost the equivalent of £2.10.  The scandinavians are known for their high standard of living and it's evident here but we've managed to keep the costs down in travel and accomodation and it was well worth it.



I didn't tick off all of the top 10 must see sites, but I really found the heart of this beautiful city and found my smiley face in more ways than one, where will you find yours?