Positive Acceptance

We all deal with stress in our lives, and recently I've realised that some are able to deal with it better than others.  Stress is a physical response of the nervous system when we perceive a threat.  The body kicks into the fight or flight reaction, releasing stress hormones including adrenaline and cortisol which helps us stay focused, energetic, and alert. In small doses, it can help us stay out of physical danger, perform under pressure and motivate us to do our best, the problem is the body doesn't distinguish between physical and psychological threats and if you’re constantly running in emergency mode, the long term effects can lead to serious health problems.

The pressures we deal with on a daily basis have evolved along with us.  An important step in managing stress is identifying the sources, but the true sources of stress are not always that obvious.  When I did this myself I realised it wasn't caused by work or relationships but my own thoughts, feelings and behaviours.  It wasn't anything to do with the situations I was in, it was the way I perceived them and dealt with them that was the problem.

In my search to find an answer I came across the idea of positive acceptance, 'accepting what is.'  Stress generally involves resisting what is, which is wanting something to be different right now.  Either we want something not to have happened or we want a situation not to exist, but doing so is wishing for the impossible. This doesn't mean resigning ourselves to situations and not trying to change them, but about not wishing something was already different. Accepting what is means moving away from this thought pattern and focusing only on what we need to do to resolve the situation or improve the future. Those who are stress resilient do this naturally but for most it is a skill which can be learned and practiced by noticing whenever we are wishing something was different, recognising that it is irrational, dropping the thought and refocusing on what we can do to improve it.

Doing this on a regular basis makes it easier and can be applied to any situation both personally and professionally. I now have a note on my desk which says 'accept what is' which helps me to focus when I have a lot do or a looming deadline.  At first this idea seemed almost too simple but when I tried it, it really worked.

We can't avoid stress in our lives, but we can change the way we react to it.  Focus on solutions not problems to find your smiley face.